Fire in the Heart
Author: Lycanthrophile (lycanthrophile@imadethis.org)
Fandom: Transformers (G1)
Originally Posted: March 2008
Disclaimer: No, I don’t own them. All the characters in this story are the property of Hasbro. No copyright infringement intended.
Rating: PG13 for M/M Relationship
Summary: Starscream deals with losing Skyfire again. Set between G1 episodes “Fire in the Sky” and “Fire on the Mountain."
Word Count: 850
Notes: Thanks to clari_clyde and lstarrunner for the beta and general handholding and egostroking.
Archive: Please inform me.



It’s times like this that I almost like the Earth.

Mind you, Cybertron is, and always will be my home, but there is an sort of beauty about the Earth, if you can overlook the mud and the dirt and the general organic mess. But up here at the North Pole, the snowscapes are almost as pristine and sharp as any formation on Cybertron. But I have to remind myself that I’m not here to admire the surroundings. I’m here to mourn the loss of a lover. Even if he did turn traitor at the end.

In my sleek fighterjet form, I circle the spot where he crashed after our last fight several times, making sure that I am the only one around. Autobots don’t usually post a guard on a location we have abandoned, but that doesn’t mean they won’t start. And I don’t want any Decepticons to witness this either. Megatron may know that I have left our undersea headquarters by now, and I don’t want him to use this weakness against me.

Assured that I am alone I transform and land on my feet, yards from the spot where he crashed. I fall to my knees and stare down at the spot. My optics go blurry. “Why?” I whisper. “Why did you...” I didn’t tell Megatron the full truth. Yes, he and I were partners exploring the galaxy, but we were more. So much more.

In many ways, he is part of the reason I’ve become what I am now. He unknowingly helped mold my ambitions. You see, I would have spent the rest of my life searching for him. He wouldn’t, couldn’t have left the planet we were exploring without finding me first. It would have been a matter of time before I found him again. But it was an Autobot who ordered me away from the search and rescue mission and back to Cybertron.

“Take some time off,” they told me. “You’ve just had a major loss, and you need time to mourn.” I wouldn’t need time to mourn if you hadn’t ordered me back. I would have found him, or I would have died trying to finding him.

So I returned to our home in Iacon, or I tried to. That was when the age old hatreds that were always present boiled over into a beginning of the Great War. The apartment we shared, the last memories I had with him, was blown to bits before I even arrived.

I had nothing left. I was a refugee, and the exploration division I worked for shut down due to the war. My life was in shambles and I was adrift. Was it any wonder then when the Decepticon Army offered me focus and stability, that I jumped at the chance?

But mostly I wanted revenge. Revenge against the Autobots who had separated us. Revenge against Megatron.

I know that Megatron is watching me, waiting for me to make a move, moreso than usual. He is waiting for me to make a vainglorious and ultimately empty attempt to place the blame at his feet, where it squarely belongs. Skyfire may have betrayed me, but Megatron was the architect of that betrayal. He demanded too much of Skyfire too quickly. If he hadn’t put Skyfire on solo sentry duty, bringing him into contact with the Autobot’s human pets, he never would have questioned his loyalty. I could have brought him to be a firm believer in the Decepticon Cause, and molded him into the second greatest Decepticon who had ever functioned. And because Megatron pushed him too soon, I was forced to act against him. I shouldn’t have-

No. I should have. It was the right thing to do. He would not ever fully believe in the Decepticon Cause. It’s bad enough to deal with Thundercracker’s constant need for reinforcement. Two ‘Cons questioning our destiny would reinforce each other’s uncertainty, which could spread like ripples caused by tossing a beryllium ball in a lake of mercury. Better for Skyfire to fall now than to face him as a bitter enemy again and again. Better to leave him buried here in the ice, with my spark.

There is no point in me staying here any longer. I activate my thrusters, transform, and rise smoothly into the air, blowing up a cloud of snow and ice crystals. I circle around for one last look, unable to shake the overly sentimental and weak need for one last goodbye. Although it didn’t have to be a goodbye. I could feel my spark hardening with a new resolve, pushing out the sorrow. The next time he was pulled from the ice, it wouldn’t be like this disaster. Skyfire had survived for over five million earth years. He can sleep safely until I have taken my rightful place as the ruler of the Decepticons and eradicate the Autobots. Then I will rescue him and he will have no choice to accept the Decepticon Way.

And if he doesn’t, I thought as I blasted my way towards the Nemesis, I’ll deal with it then.