Lights Out
Author: Lycanthrophile (lycanthrophile@imadethis.org)
Fandom: The X-Files
Originally Posted: October 1999
Spoilers: Season 4
Disclaimer: The boys belong to Tenthirteen productions, although the way Chris Carter treats them, I'm sure they'd be better off with me.
Rating: PG13 for M/M interaction and general naughtiness
Summary: A conversation and some activity in the dark.
Word Count: 342
Notes: To Drovar, for all the encouragement he's given me the last few weeks, and so he'll quit complaining he has nothing of mine to archive at the Ferretcage.
Archive: Please inform me.



Scene: Jeffrey Spender lets himself into a pitch blackness. He is confronted by a voice in the darkness.

"So did you get them?"

"Yeah, Pendrell. Went to three stores before I found the ones you like. So why are we doing this in the dark?"

"It heightens the experience. You know, makes you really pay attention to your other senses. That and the batteries in my flashlight are dead. You ready to go yet?"

"I'm trying to get it out of the package. Jeez, they really wrap these suckers tight." [Pause] "You, Pen, know this would be a lot easier with candles."

"Not after what happened last time, Jeff. Tried it once and it took forever to get melted wax out of the rug."

"Point taken. Help me get ready."

[Rustle]

[Rustle]

[Rustle]

"I wonder how Alex would do this?"

"Alex? Pendrell! If you're gonna be thinking about *Alex Krycek* while I'm busting my hump for you, I'm going home now!"

"Calm down Jeff. I was just wondering what a one armed man's technique would be."

"Heh! And all this time I thought I'd have to worry about you thinking about Dana Scully."

"Are you kidding? I never would have the courage to approach her about this kind of thing." [Pause] "Okay, is it in tight?"

"Yeah. It won't get any further."

"Then what you waiting for, Jeff? Start screwing!"

[grunt]

[grunt]

"Aaarrggghhh!!!!"

"Jeff? What' wrong?"

"Oh god! I think I pulled a muscle. Give me a moment and let me try to stretch my arm."

"Sorry! I promise to give you a massage to make up for it. I know it's an awkward position."

"Damn right it is. It would have been more comfortable to use the couch instead of this chair."

"No it wouldn't Jeff. The couch is so old, it would collapse with both our weight on it. Now get to work."

[grunt]

[grunt]

[grunt]

"Yes!"

"Jeff, ya done already?"

"Yeah. Go flip the switch. And the next time you need help changing a light bulb, call Mulder instead."

The End